Posts tagged Life

Well, not that anyone cares, but just so people don’t look at this and wonder where the hell I got the name for this blog.

People tell me I am a great listener and that I give good advice. Most of the time the people who end up asking for advice are friends of mine. Guess what the advice is about at least 60% of the time: relationships. Now, I don’t mind talking to people about their marital status or their problems and issues. Actually, it gives me joy to know that someone decided to let me in on their life and are actually willing to talk to me, because that lets me know that I’m trying to be a friend to these people. But look at who you’re asking. You’re asking someone who hasn’t ever been in a super serious relationship about your super serious relationship. Ironic? Maybe. But I look at it as though I’m a third party looking in on the situation. And trust me, I’m blunt (sometimes too blunt with what I say — something I should probably work on). But nevertheless, I’m still there when people need to vent about something, always willing to give an ear to what they have to say.

Sometimes I get people who aren’t really my friend, more of an acquaintance, to open up and give me a glimpse into their lives. I love getting to know new people, it’s exciting and fun for me. But when you’re instantly talking about your relationship with your significant other, opening up to me and telling me what they had for breakfast, yeah, I don’t really give a shit. Then, what really bugs me, is whenever I meet that person again all they want to talk about is their latest endeavor with their hubby or woman; again, something I could care less about half the time.

I say half the time because as I have said in my previous blog about drama, I do love it and am open to admitting I love listening to other people’s drama. So sometimes hearing about their insignificant fights over who drank the last bit of milk from the carton, and then understanding where they stand now, it tends to make me listen a little more than how lovey dovey their relationship is growing to be. Obviously, it’s not that hard to talk about someone else other than them, right? It can’t be. I don’t have a significant other that I constantly throw down your throat twenty-four seven, now do I? I mean, even talking a little bit about yourself is okay now and again. It’s just annoying always having to listen in on how you have grown so fond of their back hair. If you guys have a fight, please, by all means, stop by, say hello, and give me a hug because you can tell me all you want about your drama filled life. It is almost a getaway of sorts for mine. It’s quite uplifting.

Now, I may sound like a jerk, but honestly, who wants to listen to everyone else talk about their love life. It’s not interesting unless there’s drama!

Along with randomly talking to people about their love life, I’ve also had full conversations about other things not even close to love related. Work, school, family life, etc. These things also interest me because at least it’s more based around you and your family, not some hoe you picked up and are only using until you find the next best thing, or some guy you’ve totally fallen in love with after two days of knowing. Now do you all see why it can become tiresome? It’s really just a matter of opinion.

So, just to clarify, the reason my blog is named as such is because I have had people confess things to me for my honest opinions and advice giving. I’m told I’m good at it. The invitation is always open for an honest third party advice giving! Just let me know and we can chat too!

I’ll start by saying that my personal life is filled with some pretty dramatic events, granted, I do end up making things seem a bit more complicated than they can be. I. Am. Dramatic. There, I’ve said it. It’s out in the open. I am a very over dramatic person. A drama queen (or king in my case) to some degree. You can take that and say, “Oh, I’m never going to get anywhere near this person because I hate drama” or you can say, “Yeah, it’s alright, everyone can be at one time or another”. If your thoughts coincide with the former way of thinking, you’re being dramatic. If you are with the latter, you’re wise, congratulations to you. Now, you can either stop reading this now or continue on in the hopes of seeing what else I have to say.

Everyone is intrigued by the latest gossip and drama in other people’s lives no matter how much they deny it. Everyone thrives on it at some point. From the latest issue of your favorite magazine to even watching the news, you see drama everywhere you go. You can sit there and tell yourself and EVERYONE around you that you despise drama and those associated with it. Sure. Okay. Awesome. Now we know you’ve never started any fight, never provoked anyone, and never tried to have it your way over another person’s in your life. You got me, you are the perfect person. You can leave now, I don’t like perfect people much, they bug me most of the time.

For the rest of you who realize that you aren’t perfect, like me, here’s something to think about. Lets say you and your best friend are walking down the street, going shopping, getting a bite to eat, whatever. The two of you head over and sit down on a bench, at a booth, somewhere and just begin talking. The two of you end up getting into a minor discussion about the ways of life, money, love, or whatever else you can think of. But, you two disagree on something that was said, and can’t get passed it. It keeps coming back around either in conversation or at least in your mind. It just doesn’t want to leave. It’s almost like it gnaws at your brain to think about. Finally, you get fed up with the thought and blurt out all of these feelings you have about the previous discussion and where does it leave you? A fight with your best friend.

So, the two of you argue over who is right and who is wrong, only to come to the conclusion that the two of you are both too stubborn to get over yourselves and move passed who is right and wrong and actually discuss the issue. Instead, your friend leaves you sitting at the booth, table, bench, whatever, by yourself to “think about what you’ve said and what you’ve done wrong”. Wow. Okay. Poof and they’re gone, you’re alone. Now, I’m all for getting up and leaving IF two people begin to start a physical fight and don’t want that scene in the public eye, though it does draw the attention of passerby pedestrians who take pictures and videos to post around the internet and have other people laugh at you and your friend’s misfortune, that can be entertaining. But not for you of course. For me and the rest of us who thrive on the thought of dramatic events happening, especially in public.

Anyway, back on track, your friend leaves you to sit and think and all you can do is just fume over the fight, which started as a simple disagreement if you can remember. You sit there, time passes you by, anger level rises and you become your own version of the Hulk. You just get so mad and upset that you too, storm off in the opposite direction your friend did and continue to think of — oh the word that most regret after the fight is concluded — revenge.

You devise a plan on how you can take that knife and stab it just a bit further into your friend’s spine only to regret the thought (for the most part) afterwards. But you’re angry, you don’t care what happens to them now, all you want is your revenge because you are ALWAYS right. So, you take your jabs at them, posting on your website/blog of choice about how you hate when friends stab friends in the back, when in all reality, that’s exactly what you’re doing, creating a contradiction in yourself, but you’re right, so you don’t think of it that way. Then of course you get people who enjoy your drama too and ‘like’ what you posted or comment on how they believe you’re totally right. So, you build for yourself an army. Of course, a figurative army, but those people who are ‘on your side’ about the whole thing.

Of course, your friend has done the same thing, taking his or her jabs at you by saying nearly the same thing on their website/blog. Then they recruit their other friends who agree with them. Then you have those stuck in the middle who see both blogs and either like them both because they’re idiots and don’t understand the point of this war, or they are smart and stay out of what is to come. 

Then the war begins, the two of you have created for yourselves a battleground of slandering posts and alliances with other people, some of which you may not even know personally, just on a website or blog. Of course, there are two ways in which this can occur. 1) You or your friend take initiative and go post on the other person’s blog. Or 2) You both decide to continue posting on your own blogs about each other, garnering more alliances, and then take everyone you’ve got and go onto the other’s blog and bash them down as much as you can. This occurs on both blogs, not just one or the other. One fight occurs on one person’s, while a fight of a totally different subject is going on in the other.

It ends up being you and your alliance against your friend’s and theirs. The war has just begun. Things are said and life continues on for a couple hours or days, depending upon how dramatic both parties are, and just simply dissipates into the nothingness of the internet within days. Both sides cease to exist and it ends up just being you and your friend again, just like in the beginning.

Now, by this time, the war is coming to an end. Things have been said, people have come and gone their separate ways and the drama is beginning to subside. Then you guys are giving up on who is the winner and who isn’t, and just realizing that the two of you are both in the wrong and each one has done or said some sort of unkind word to one another. Then the apologies are made and the friendship goes on.

In retrospect, was all of that really necessary? If you knew that one day you’d give up and just ‘forgive and forget’ what happened, would you really continue to fight like you and your friend just did? No. If you were wise you would understand that most all arguments and such resolve themselves over time. Of course, there are such topics that can’t be forgiven and especially not forgotten, but most little disagreements don’t deserve the kind of attention we give to them.

The bottom line: GET OVER YOURSELF. Get off of your high horse and admit defeat. It will happen sooner or later and if the fight does occur with a very close friend that you have been friends with for a long time. Is their relationship with you really that unimportant to be fighting over the most meaningless thing. Was that ‘war’ really the answer? Of course not. Just take a step back and then step forward into your friend’s shoes, really trying to grasp their point of view. If you don’t ever try this, you’ll be friendless someday because no one can put up with that kind of crap forever. Picking fights and starting online wars with one another really isn’t the answer. Talking about the issue seriously with a clear head could potentially be the best thing for a relationship in dire need of communication. Huh. That’s something to think about.

So, next time you have that agonizing feeling that keeps gnawing at your brain, telling you to say something because something about your friend is bugging the crap out of you, SAY IT. Or don’t. It’s your choice. Live with the gnawing or blurt your feelings all over the table. Either way, be smart in your words and if you truly do want the drama, take it to someone you don’t care so much about. Like your neighbor who’s dog barks too loud or that random woman walking down the street that you hate because she looks better than you. Don’t take it out on your best friend because they are probably one of the single most important people in your life. You don’t want to lose them do you? If your answer is yes, than you will be lonely for the rest of your life and that’s exactly what you deserve (or of course, you just need a better best friend, don’t settle you silly little people, you can do better!). If you do love your best friend and your answer is no, good for you. Don’t pick a fight because you think you’re right. Chances are, you aren’t. Maybe you’re right so often that you need to be a good friend and let your best friend be right for once. You can step down and let them be right just this once, right? If we all learned that you win some and lose some, than we wouldn’t be having this little conversation. Instead, we’re told to WIN WIN WIN no matter the cost. Some people learn, some don’t. It’s just a fact of life.

Well, I think it’s time I start taking my own advice. Maybe some of you do all of that war starting because you do thrive on drama that much. You sick bastards. But, we are all messed up in the head from time to time. And if you do decide to start your war for fun, be sure you win!

This has been some words for thought from me! I love you all, have a good night. :]